SEC Dictionary

sec dictionary

Not all words or phrases associated with the SEC have a dictionary definition. We attempt to bridge that gap with the SEC Dictionary. The Merriam-Webster of the South.

A source close to – someone with an agenda.

Agents – Single-handedly destroying the sport we love. See also: sources.

All Y’all – Plural possessive of y’all. Used when a Southerner wants to include y’all and everyone else. See also: Terribly witty podcast.

Bear – the greatest SEC coach ever until Daddy came along.

Beat writer – A wholly owned subsidiary of the head football coach.

Bobby Petrino – the worst person ever in the SEC. Schemed to steal Auburn job from another worst person ever in the SEC, Tommy Tuberville. See also: motorcycle safety.

Bradley Dale Peveto – An SEC giant that is known for bad special teams play as well as being the designated BBQing coach. Has worked at 5 SEC programs.

Clickbait – Our favorite idiotic Internet go-to. A link that leads to content of dubious value or interest. We use clickbait headlines in an ironic sense – we actually try to provide excellent content behind a clickbait headline.

Daddy – Nick Saban. See also: When Daddy Ruined LSU Football

Deadspin – Formerly one of the great sports websites in America. Now, a bunch of pompous, douchey holier than thous.

Ed Orgeron – Paranoid, meddling, and mumbling LSU coach that failed miserably at Ole Miss. Found a strategy that didn’t work and continues to keep using it. See also: Les Miles. See also: what’d he say?

From a distance – fans that have learned during life to be a fan of the SEC or one of the teams in it.

From birth – fans that have rooted for a team since being hatched. See also: almost all SEC fans.

Grammar Nazi – The wurst people on the Internet. Of course, you’res truly is a militant Grammar Nazi.

Hack – People that offer very little to the discussion. They are, on the whole, terrible at their job. See: Kirk Herbstriet. See: Dan Wolken. See: Pretty much everyone.

Les Miles – incoherent former LSU coach who put together the most inconceivable game plan on 1/9/12 and never recovered.

Monceaux, Ryan – Southern CFB publisher and LSU fan that is said to be too hard on LSU. Which isn’t true. LSU has been too hard on him.

National writers – sycophants that spend all day on Twitter bemoaning fans that spend all day on Twitter. Depend on agents and sources for their livelihood. See also: sources. See also: hack.

Oxford Comma – Monceaux uses it. Nuke uses it when he remembers.

Nuke – Editor at SouthernCFB. Also see: Sasquatch. Also see: 1990’s pitchers ruined by LSU. Also see: fat.

Paawwwwwwlllll – America’s last hope.

Poooooooooor Aggies – Phrase used to taunt Aggies after a loss. A tradition of Aggie Misery since 1876.

SEC giant – a man that’s been run off as head coach from 2 or more SEC programs or an assistant that’s been run off at 3 or more. Also known as the Tuberville or the Bradley Dale.

Sources – When a lazy writer can’t find 2 corroborators, they go to one guy with an agenda and call it “sources.”

Superstation – Until I was 10, I didn’t realize there were TV channels other than WTBS. Always with a healthy diet of Braves games, Georgia Championship Wrestling/WCW, and mediocre guy movies.

TOCNTICS – Acronym for “The Offensive Coordinator’s Name That I Cannot Spell.” See also: Steve Ensminger. Also see: Emsinger, Emzinger, Esminger.

Tuberville, Tommy Hawley – The worst person ever in the SEC. Scheming and slimy. Was a natural fit at Auburn. See also: SEC giant

Two Idiots – A joint column by Monceaux and Towns. See also: Statler and Waldorf

Uncle Verne – Despite his detractors, one of the true SEC greats. See also: the largest human head ever discovered.

Waffle House – The South’s greatest invention since the cotton gin.

Have an addition? Let us know!